We’re on day four of the series An Invitation to Listen: African American Writers Share What It’s Like to Live in the United States. Gail Dudley is a consultant, speaker, coach, writer, author, publisher, and an amazing woman. She’s passionate about helping others follow Jesus and have healthy, spiritually rich relationships along the way. Please check out her other blogs or listen to her interview on PBS* after you read this piece.
Have you ever been invited to the table that was 99% opposite from your cultural group? I must admit that I have.
I have been a part of some interesting conversations lately in reference to diversity within ministry settings. It never fails. People who have good intentions are inviting me to the table, but as soon as I accept the invite, and pull my chair to the table, I quickly learn that although I am invited to the table what is really being asked of me is to leave “Me” outside. The actual invitation is grey. I share often while facilitating diversity workshops or as I give a keynote talk on diversity that we claim to want to learn from one another, therefore we invite others to the table, but once we come to the table our body language and sometimes our words state, “Come…but come and be like me.” The moment this is challenged we have a problem.
It is impossible for a person to remove their background, experiences, demographics, heritage, race, ethnicity, etc. and adopt the characteristics of the cultural group currently at the table. One can only pretend to walk in the shoes of another before becoming frustrated with themselves. People say openly how they want to be inclusive and develop multicultural ministries, but very often as I sit at the table and share thoughts from my background, heritage, demographics, race, and ethnicity I am usually ignored, dismissed, and/or discounted. 
Let’s take Jesus in Luke 7 starting with the verse 36. Jesus was invited to have dinner with one of the Pharisees. Jesus went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman arrived after hearing Jesus was in attendance and brought with her an alabaster jar of perfume. She stood behind Jesus at his feet weeping and began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped his feet with her hair. She kissed his feet and poured perfume on his feet. These are the same feet that walked around in sandals and more than likely had donkey ‘stuff’ on his feet. This woman did not care. However, the one who invited Jesus to the table had concerns.
Can you relate? We come to the table and more than likely bring about a difference than others at the table. We may represent an entirely different group of people. Could this be the struggle of individuals who extend us an invitation to the table? Is it possible that the inviter and the group of people are unsure of whom we represent or whom we may encounter or listen to?
Allow me to end with several questions.
- Why invite someone from a different cultural group to the table to bring about diversity if you are not willing to authentically embrace their differences?
- Why is there a struggle with implementing information from minorities to the larger group who are considered the majority?
- How can we come together as one Body in Christ and discuss the differences by helping across cultural groups within the community of faith?
- Is it that the group truly desires diversity or is it more they want to appear to be open to having a diverse group?
Can you relate to what is shared in this post?
See more of Gail Dudley’s work on her site, by following her on Twitter (@GailDudley), or by checking out her soon to be published magazine.
Read the initial posts from An Invitation to Listen by clicking here (why I am doing this series), here (Kyle Canty), here (Austin Brown), or here (me, on defensiveness at Sojourners). I will be giving away one book on diversity at the end of the series to a randomly chosen reader who comments at least twice. *I had to deactivate this link because it was rerouting my post to their site. If you want to hear Gail, Google PBS Ohio Voters and you’ll find it.
My prayer is when a person is extended an invitation to join them at the table–the entire person is allowed to come to the table.
Amen Gail. I agree and hope that this is increasingly your experience. You have much to bring to any table.
The subtleties of exclusion often can only be detected by those who are being excluded. And it is often not safe or socially acceptable to raise that feeling, especially in settings where the self-perception is that “we are multiculturally sensitive.” Thanks for your precision in this piece.