As part of the launch for my new book, Making Marriage Beautiful, I wanted to invite other married folks to share their experiences of making marriage beautiful. The road to beauty is not always pretty or easy. We often find ourselves in dark and difficult places and don’t know where to turn for help or companionship. One of the primary goals in writing my book was to vulnerably offer my experiences so that others would not feel so alone or hopeless. This series seeks to give more glimpses into the lives of other men and women who have partnered with God to create and sustain satisfying, joyful marriages.

Not Without Hope, by Ronne Rock

We were statistics when we met. I was a single mom with a journey that included a troubled childhood and a disastrous first marriage filled with fear and abuse. I had sworn to my parents that my marriage would defy the odds of our family’s history of divorce because I was a Christian – and Christian marriages always endured. I was thankful they were there to embrace me when I fled with my baby boy to the sanctuary of their home in the cold of winter. Brad was a second-time bachelor healing from a marriage where infidelity repeatedly reared its head. His was the first divorce ever to hang on the Rock family tree.

Statistics can be as brittle and fragile as trees ravaged by the storms. One in three women is abused in some way. One in four children is raised by a single parent. And though the divorce rate is slowly declining in the United States, many marriages still don’t work.

We had both been tossed and torn.

But not without hope.

We stood in the parking lot after a leadership meeting at church and talked for more than an hour about life and dreams. He asked if I wanted to get a cup of coffee; I was careful to protect the scars of a broken past from the breeze of future affection. Yet, something felt safe with him. I could feel my legs strengthen in the shade of his grace-filled kindness. The cracked earth gave way beneath us as trust began to take root – trust in our Lord, and trust in each other.

“May love be the rich soil where their lives take root. May it be the bedrock where their lives are founded.” (Ephesians 3:17 VOICE)

A year later, we were married on a warm September afternoon in the smallest of Texas towns. We gathered under tall oak trees to celebrate with family and friends, the roots of trust growing deeper as he held me and embraced my son. It would be another year before the adoption would be finalized – a year of home studies and interviews, of background checks and scrutiny and proving worthiness to caseworkers and judges. “You have given me the greatest gift,” Brad said, the tears streaming down his face as we stood on the courthouse steps.

Two are better than one because a good return comes when two work together. As the saying goes, “A rope made of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ephesians 4:9, 12 VOICE)

We will soon celebrate twenty years of marriage. The statistics have been there, always threatening to leave us once again tossed and torn. 100% of our years have included blessed, boring, and difficult moments. 100% of our days have moved from beautiful to painful and back to beautiful with the ring of a phone or a story in a newscast.

We’ve welcomed the addition of a daughter-in-love and the birth of two beautiful grandchildren, the adoption of a rescue pup, and the loss of a faithful Cocker Spaniel who would jump into our arms with a simple, “Come and see me, Millie!” We have experienced the deaths of those we adore and the crumbling of marriages we believed were mighty. We’ve seen eye-to-eye on everything and nothing at the same time. We’ve laughed, wept, prayed, and prevailed.

We’ve packed it all up and moved simply because we felt God’s nudge, we’ve spent countless hours adventuring on Texas Hill Country roads and in foreign lands, and we’ve laid awake at night wondering if it’s time to pack it all up again simply because. We’ve been through job losses and career changes and health scares and sad reminders that second marriages are more likely than first marriages to fail.

There are still moments when the breeze catches me by surprise and I reach instinctively for scars, only to be reminded that time and trust have been balm to past pain. There are still moments when he remembers the life that was before our live began. There are still moments when tears well in his eyes as he smiles and says, “You’ve given me the greatest gift.” And there are still moments when I am overwhelmed by the kindness of a man who signs poems and cards with SOS 1:2.

“Kiss me with the sweet kisses of your lips, for your love delights me more than wine.” (Song of Solomon 1:2 VOICE)

Together, we remain not without hope. Together in love and faith, our roots run deep. Together in Christ, we are strong.

Ronne Rock’s heart finds its strongest beat where beauty and pain collide. She’s a writer, blogger, speaker, and aspiring author with a heart for redemption and grace-filled leadership. Her work has appeared in The Huffington Post, Orange, Fiftiness, The Redbud Post, The Good Men Project, Mudroom, Bedlam Magazine, Phoenix Soul, and more. She is a regular contributor to Orange and Mission Network News, and is lead writer and social media manager for Orphan Outreach. You can find more of Ronne’s work by following her on Facebook: (http://facebook.com/RonneRockWrites) and
Instagram and Twitter: @RonneRock.

Let us know how you are making your own marriage beautiful in the comment section below.

And you can find more information about my book by clicking this link.

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