“Love is an earthquake meant to relocate the center of our universe,” writes Mike Mason in his brilliant book, The Mystery of Marriage. I wish I had known that this was to be expected. During our first decade of marriage, the tectonic plates shifted and pitched me off balance so frequently that I assumed I was a failure at this until death do us part thing.
We both approached the altar well aware that we were broken people. Despite our best efforts to heal our family of origin wounds before exchanging vows, we crossed the threshold with seriously overweight baggage. I can still remember the pre-marital session when our pastor became notably quiet and gentle before sharing the results from our compatibility test. We were off the charts—in opposite directions—on several key personality/behavior traits: particularly communication. Growing up, I trained myself to be invisible, to disregard my needs, and to prove my worth through excellent performance. My husband learned that if he wanted connection, he had to dominate conversations and overpower his exceedingly vocal family members. Speed bump number one.
See more at Start Marriage Right: http://www.startmarriageright.com/2014/09/seismic-shifts/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter#sthash.PMN6w5fh.tHnZRMFb.dpuf