I’ve over at my friend Diana Gruver’s site today talking about ten habits all married couples should cultivate in order to help you have mutually-satisfying marriages.
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Hone your communication skills. First, don’t talk more than you’re willing to listen. If you’re an extrovert married to an introvert, you may need to stop talking before you feel done so that your spouse has space to process and respond. Additionally, strive to become tender-hearted truth tellers. As I write in Marriage in the Middle, being a truth teller does not mean “giving voice to every stray thought that drifts through our mind. There’s Twitter for that.” Our feelings can sometimes be vindictive, mean-spirited, and unhelpful. In those moments, it’s better to stay quiet.
- Take responsibility for your contribution to marital issues rather than blaming your spouse. Remember Jesus’s message in the Sermon on the Mount about removing the log in your own eye before trying to take out the speck in someone else’s? Ask yourself “How or what did I bring to this disagreement or impasse?” Typically, both partners contribute to relational dynamics. When you blow it, own it and humbly apologize.
To read the remainder of this list, please click this link to Diana Gruver’s site.
Diana’s book titled Companions in the Darkness will be published by IVP in November of this year.
To find out more information on my newly released book, Marriage in the Middle, click this link.