Desire is sometimes a complicated thing.
Author Jen Pollock Michel writes in Teach Us to Want, “How can we ever decide that our desires are anything other than the sin-sick expression of our inner corruption? Can we trust our desires if we ourselves can be so untrustworthy?” Indeed.
There have been seasons in my life when I don’t trust my desires. Typically, it’s connected to a morally neutral, seemingly good (but not necessarily God-endorsed) longing. For instance, marriage. I was just a few months shy of thirty when I walked down the aisle. That’s hardly ancient, but the years between twenty and thirty gave me plenty of time to question whether or not my longings for a husband were of God and would be fulfilled. I tried to let go— because good Christians are programmed to let go of their desires— but never truly succeeded. It was really more self-deceit than release.
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