During church several weeks ago, I sat behind a husband and wife who never looked at each other during the entire ninety minute service. They seemed to be straining to prevent their bodies from touching. While I certainly can’t claim to understand what was going on for them, I know that space.
On more than one occasion as I’ve occupied the seat next to my husband, I also did not want our bodies to touch. The memory of the previous night’s harsh words formed an electric fence between us. I knew that if our shoulders brushed, we would instantly move from hostility to reconciliation.
Of course I know that moving toward, versus away from, your spouse is indeed a good thing. However, there were days in the early years of our marriage when I nurtured my hurt and allowed my pride to prolong our disagreements, widening the chasm between us in the process. Often, even as I made the choice to stiffen, I knew that I was being obstinate and foolish. Yet I persisted, perhaps simply to avoid the humility that reconciliation demands.
We’ve been married for twenty-three years now and I’m much less likely to prolong our arguments or increase the distance between us. I’ve seen too many husbands and wives wait so long that their hearts have permanently hardened toward their spouse. They literally cannot lean in toward one another and thus begin the process of looking for a way out.
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