Wedding Prep: The Yard
In which we tried to undo four years of neglecting our yard in a single day.
This involved much weed pulling, much mulching, and spraying liquid garlic on the yard in a last ditch effort to eradicate the blood suckers without using toxic chemicals. As I was spraying, they were successfully probing every exposed piece of skin.
While I’m suspect regarding the garlic juice, it does feel slightly resonant with folklore which extolled wearing garlic around one’s neck to ward off vampires. Let you know how it goes.
Finally, I was asked for the third time, “Why are you guys paying for things and doing any work when it’s your son getting married and not your daughter?” First of all, we don’t have a daughter. More important, the notion of the bride’s family totally footing the bill seems reminiscent of a dowry, which is misogynistic—pure and simple. (More on this later. And the bride’s family is being significantly more generous than we are!)
By the way, though yesterday I made a heroic effort to single-handedly keep the economy afloat, I didn’t swipe my credit card once today. 😉
Huge thanks to my landscaping crew: Kimberly Knight, the bride and groom, and little brother.
Bride’s family footing the wedding bill misogyny? While an outdated tradition I wouldn’t call it misogyny, in fact, I’m am so very weary of everything going under a microscope to determine if what is said or done as racist or misogyny. It’s hysteria is what it is.
Lyn, Thanks for reading and for feeling at home enough to disagree. I still maintain that the practice harkens back to a dowry, which I think is a reflection of a patriarchal system. “Take my daughter, please!” I value your comments and willingness to engage!
As a mother to two daughters, I love this perspective and hope you start a trend! 🙂
Can’t wait to see photos of it all!
I’m proud of you for supporting your boys! My parents didn’t promise a “dowry” to the girls or the rehearsal dinner to the boys. It was equal opportunity: “If (note the ‘if’ !!) you decide to get married, we’ll pay for the ladder.” Thank goodness for friends like you and Chris (and Kimberly and Alex and Benjamin and many many more) who volunteered time and talents to make the day a worshipful celebration of God, with many memories in our albums.
“…the notion of the bride’s family footing the bill seems reminiscent of a dowry which is misogyny—pure and simple.” Yes. I’m looking forward to reading your other thoughts on this subject. Hope the wedding is wonderful!
Thanks for reading Callie. And yes, I do want to write more on this when I have the time and space.